16 December, 2002 - 9:50 a.m.

I was a bridesmaid for one of my friends from uni's sister last night. she's twenty-two; that's only two years my senior.

last month, I was in new york celebrating one of my dearest friends from my childhood's wedding. she's twenty-one; that's only one year my senior.

.. MY FRIENDS NEED TO STOP GETTING MARRIED!

pretty soon, I'll be surrounded by diapers and baby prams and "I've gotta leave because the baby-sitter has to be home by ten pm"'s. am I looking forward to that? hell no.

***

on another stream of consciousness, I was sitting there at our table last night when an old friend whom I hadn't spoken to in years walked by .. and continued to walk past. I shouldn't have been surprised - it's been years since we spoke, and thus years since we've seen each other. and I probably didn't look much like me in my bridesmadial get-up. but after she walked past, one of my other friends at the table with me pulled me out of my nostalgic reverie by saying "I've never seen you look so wistful before".

and that made me wonder. it made me wonder if every time I slip back inside my safe haven of memories I get this supposed "wistful look". 'cause I tell ya what .. I must look like the biggest dope most of the time, then.