01 March, 2002 - 3:19 p.m.

For some reason, I've been the most knee-jerk reaction kind of person today. Anything that anyone says grates on my nerves. Anything that they do aggitates me. I don't know why my nerves are stretched so, and I really wish I could pinpoint the source so that I could try and rectify whatever it is. As it stands, I just feel like I'm slowly getting squashed down, and whatever bad vibes that are contained within me at the moment are bound to erupt sooner or later - and something tells me that it won't be a pretty sight to behold.

The smallest things seem to be upsetting me a lot more than they usually would. Maybe it's because I haven't given it any release lately. But that's not really any different from any other week in the past, so it's baffling me. Things that baffle me tend to upset me. My equilibrium seems to be all out of whack, and my co-ordination, though admittedly not always functioning, hehe, seems to have gotten even worse. Maybe I'm just not concentrating hard enough, or watching where I'm going, or what I'm doing. Whatever it is, it better sort itself out, because I'm all covered in bruises from walking into desks and door frames and dropping pieces of paper on the ground and having to make several attempts to pick it up etc.

I need a vent. A big one. I need to sit down and rant and rave it all out to a friend until words cease to come, and there's nothing hanging in the air except a comfortable silence. I need to go down to my favourite hang out by myself sometime at night, and just cry until the tears won't come anymore. I need to go over to the gym and lash out at a punching bag until I don't have an ounce of strength left in me. I need someone who loves me to wrap their arms around me, stroke my hair, and tell me that everything is going to be alright.

ugh .. this is not how I want to start my long weekend.