09 February, 2003 - 8:02 p.m.

I would usually call myself an outgoing person .. but somtimes even the most extroverted of people need time to be by themselves.

Tonight I almost reached that zen-like place whilst sitting alone in the middle of my bed with my knees hugged up close to my chest. The twilight was slowly changing into night; easing my room into a gathering of darkening shadows.

Outside my window, the horizon was swallowing up the last lingering fingers of sunlight. The lazy drone of the late afternoon cicadas was slowly getting replaced with the more lively chirping of the crickets as they changed command posts on the front verge.

On the other side of our fence, I could hear the tinkle of the next door neighbours' windchimes as the gentle evening breeze ran its playful path through it.

When I strained my ears, I could hear the faint sounds of a family eating dinner in their backyard. The clatter of knives and forks on china plates. The thud of a drink jug being placed back on the wooden trestle table they were using. The scraping sound of metal chair legs being pushed back against brickwork.

But the thing that I could hear with the most amazing clarity would have to have been my thoughts, running wild and free inside my head. A momentary thought passes through about how to best capture it on paper later on so that I might one day look back on it and rememer how good this moment felt. and how, when I close my eyes, I can almost imagine that I can hear my own heartbeat.

thump. thump. thump.

I am alive.