28 April, 2002 - 10:39 a.m.

Strange thing happened last night. I was finishing up a day with the I'm-a-pilot boyfriend and his friends, when at about 9pm I receive a phonecall from he-who-won't-speak-to-me, who (for the time being anyway) appears to have morphed into he-who-used-to-not-speak-to-me-but-now-does. I mean, sure he was doing the polite thing and returning an earlier text message I'd sent him just wondering how he was etc. but we spoke for about thirty seconds and he then told me that he had to go out to some party.

Hey, cut me some slack .. details aren't my forte. Besides, I don't think I was really paying that much attention to the content of that phone conversation because I remember still trying to get my head around the sheer fact that he had called in the first place. But my time to dwell on the subject matter was shortlived, as at that particular moment in time, someone pointed out that we had somehow managed to lose one of the crowd. Literally.

This mightn't sound like much, but uh .. we were kind of in a pretty big national park with god knows what sorts of freakos lurking around, with matters made only worse when we realised that the lost person was also incredibly drunk. I mean, add to this the fact that his girlfriend is in hysterics, it's pitch black, and 9 out of 14 of us are drunk.

Baby, let the good times roll :P

Anyway, blah blah blah we eventually find him in a semi conscious state half in / half out of a bush (and we only found him because one of the drunk guys tried to urinate on his head, and he found this somewhat objectionable)

Moving right along to just after midnight, when I assume that everyone bar myself was safe and sound inside their houses. Where was I?

Parked outside I'm-a-pilot boyfriends house looking at my phone and re-reading the messages that were sent earlier by he-who-woulnd't-speak-to-me asking me out for a coffee. Now that was something that I had been holding out for since, like, forever. And for some reason I couldn't really put my finger on, I was feeling all torn up inside. I guess it was partly because now that I had the chance to go out for this "coffee and a chat" that I had wanted to do with him for so long, I was afraid that placing all my hopes that it would end in a good way on this small thread would be too much for it, and it would somehow snap again.

But hey, like I was going to look a gifthorse in the mouth. Pfft.

So we went out for our coffee .. and we talked a lot about nothing, and a little about the more pressing matters -like where we stood in each others lives.

I don't know if by the end of the evening we had really accomplished what either of us had initially thought would be the answer to our questions .. but I believe that we had come to some sort of closure on certain topics.

Essentially, the four hours that we spent together didn't come up with anything conclusive. But that's fair enough .. bridges may burn, and some are never mended .. but once again, even starting all out from square one, it's a paving stone, right?

And so I followed my boyfriend's advice to me. He said that I should stop trying to overanalyse my thoughts and just "live in the moment". Do and act as my first reaction dictated. To not try and change the course of how I felt .. because it would only leave me feeling unsatisfied at a later hour.

And that's what I did -- I lived in the moment.

No regrets.