22 May, 2004 - 2:59 p.m.

caution : this may seem whinier than usual.

I don't know how people can do it. The blatant lying. The cunning deception. A friendship whose fibres are now coming unraveled because of it all.

You tell me you understand my plight, and yet you are the one who turned at the first moment when you thought I wasn't looking.

You tell me that you're listening, and yet you are the one who so easily forgets the urgency of my tone. the strangled pain in my voice. the hollow emptiness of my thoughts.

You tell me that everything happens for a reason, and yet how can things fall into place naturally if you are the force that is guiding its hand?

I sit here and I despise myself for not having the courage to confront you. My thoughts in turmoil. My mind in conflict. My parting words devoid of any true rgret to be leaving your side.

You are the reason why I feel so unsettled today. I feel that you know that there is something wrong - but you're afraid to ask me directly.

Are you, perhaps, scared of my answer?