12 December, 2003 - 8:54 p.m.

one of the things that irks me like nothing else is people who obviously don't get along, have nothing in common, and can think of a million better to be than where they are then sitting around in stony silence wondering when the hell they can get up and leave.

it's almost as suffocating a feeling as when somebody is constantly in your face and under your feet. I can't stand grovellers, and I can't stand people who can't take no for an answer. I can't stand being backed into a corner, or being made out to be the bad guy when I can't please everybody.

so yes, there're a lot of things that I can't stand, and yes, I can see how this would paint me as a highly intolerant person. but I'm not .. seriously. it's just that there is a time and place for everything, and right now, I just don't know if I'm at that time and place where I can juggle any of the above.

that's right - any of them.

I just don't like the short, awkward conversations that happen. I don't like hearing the disappointment in his voice when I tell him I can't see him. I'm worried about the fact that I can go for a week without talking to him at all, and not miss him. The only thing that makes me feel bad is that I make him feel bad.

"and as I climb into an empty bed .. oh well. enough said."